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Couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag, and he's real easy to sucker, I
tell you. The usual smart nerd."
This was news. This made the unknowable mess even worse. "Then if
Brand's not your boss, who is? Walt?"
"Don't get too nosy, now. Besides, I'm crazy, see?" He crossed his eyes for
effect. "So you're right now getting shit from somebody who's not mad as a
March Hare, he the bloody March Hare! Right?"
is
"Um, yeah, I think."
"Don't think! Listen! See, this whole thing's got rules
, and unless you know the rules, knowin' the rest don't matter. Like, think of
it as one big bloody endless game."
I had thought of that. "I don't like the game if it is one."
The hare sniffed. "So you don't like the game? So what? So you don't like your
life or the universe or whatever? So what? It is anyway, right? I mean, arise
and walk if you don't like bein' in that bloody stinkin' bed!"
I sank back and nodded. "Point surrendered. Go on."
"Okay, then, here it is, as much as you need to know. The object of this here
game, see, is to find God and kill 'im."
"What?"
"Just wot I says. Find God and kill 'im. Could be man or woman, old or young,
but it's one o' the same old crew. Until you find who came up with this bloody
mess of a world, you can't get out of it except by dyin', see?
Nobody can. You find the one what come up with all this, and you pop 'im off,
and then you can move on to the next creation. That's what good old Al did the
last time. Went nuts goin' through one after the other tryin' to figure out
which one was God. Of course, even God don't always know he or she's God, so
that makes it a little harder. But if you can't figure 'im out by other means,
the last way to do it is with the Brand Boxes. You can sort of
discon-nect God if he or she's in a bloody Brand Box, see?"
That last bit hit me like a ton of bricks. "Wait a minute! Are you saying
that's why they put us all through that last time? Not because we were really
needed on the project but because they were trying to see if any of us were
the ones who came up with that universe?" The one comfort I'd had all along
was that somehow they'd needed me for that wireless interface to the Boxes
from the pods, that I had created some essential tech-nology for them. This
said they couldn't have cared less.
"Pretty much. Don't do a lot for the bloomin' ego, does it? Of course,
Starkey's got more ambition than that. So's his so-called friend the doctor.
They figure that sooner or later they're gonna be able to come through first
conscious, hale, hearty, and with their own plan. Got it all set up in their
own little Brand Boxes, they does. 'Course, they ain't got the same idea of
just wot paradise is, and they know it. So do their cronies, each of whom's
got their own luverly idea of heaven. Starkey, though, he's the one to watch,
'cause he's driven by more than just some crackpot vision. He really
be-lieves, deep down, that he's got some kind of divine mission to keep you
all in check and in tow. He'll brainwash you, lead you around by your nose, do
anything he has to to make sure he's got everybody under control.
He comes close now and then, but he never had you all and it drives him
bananas, it does."
"And Walt? What about him and those whatever they ares?"
"Walt's workin' his own bloody game. It ain't too certain where his friends
come from. They was first in one of the old universes, and everybody thought
they was just part of the show, you know, and then boom
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! They shows up with a mind of their own where they couldn't be. Walt made
some deal with 'em that got him out from under old Al, but only he knows wot.
Now you know the nutty bolts of it, at least until somebody pops you off and
you wake up ignorant again, which is pretty bloody likely considerin'
your current state, wouldn't you say?"
I thought for a moment. "You I
assume it was you got me out of a sticky situation in the last universe. I
be-came somebody else entirely. You mean that can't be done again?"
"A reprogram? Yeah, probably, but wot's the use of it? Wot did you do with the
last opportunity? Tell you wot I can do, though. I'll give you a crack at an
exit. You can't leave this universe alive, at least not now, not until we find
out what incredibly boring mind thought this one up. But you made it, so you
can't stay here and you can't go down to California. They'd stick you in a
Brand Box and forget about you."
"How can they do the Brand Boxes?" I challenged him. "Even if they have the
Boxes, the support equipment, power system, everything else needed to use them
properly isn't any-where close to the technology here yet."
The March Hare was unfazed. "Oh, they have it, all right. It all comes
through. They don't come in on the run like they made you come. They come
through almost like they was drivin'
or even flyin'
it. Right
comfortable, they are.
You came on through the rabbit hole;
they rode here through the bloomin' Channel tunnel! You wasn't supposed to
make it through alive, Cory, my boy! You only made it 'cause you come through
with
Wilma and she's a survivor with guts and some experi-ence in this stuff,
whether she knew it or not. You and Rick, you're pushovers. Al's conditioned
most of the guts out of both of you in the Boxes over the ages.
You surprised him by comin' back at all to the old place last time, but you
were gettin' your guts from the raw energy that place finally was able to put
out, and our help is lettin' you tap it." He paused as if hear-ing something I
could not sense.
"Me time's nearly gone," he continued in a low, rushed tone. "You got choices,
Cory, I'll give you that much. You forced yourself into this game from the
weakest possible posi-tion, but now you got to play
. I'm gonna deal you into an alternative, but that's all. Whether you go
meekly into their hands down south or lie here and wait for 'em to come for
you is your own choice. Them's easy; the third one's mine."
"Which is?"
"Lie back and shut your eyes, lad, and I'll send you on a little trip to
Wonderland for an answer. Yes, that's it, just relax, eyes closed, and wait.
It'll come to you..."
I did as he instructed, or tried to, and there was only the sound of my own
breathing and the ventilation. It did occur to me that I'd never heard that
huge rabbit nose of his or any sounds of a large creature breathing, but that
was to be ex-pected. I just hadn't expected a hologram to bother with open-ing
and closing a door, that's all.
I was suddenly afraid that he'd left, and I opened my eyes and got a sharp
"
I said close 'em!"
I did, and then I heard him moving as if he were a real physi-cal entity,
approaching my bedside. I could almost feel his pres-ence and got very tempted
to open my eyes again but didn't.
Then, suddenly, I knew that I was alone. There'd been no sound of him leaving,
no opening and closing of the door on the way out, but whatever sense of
presence I'd felt was gone.
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I was about to open my eyes and do a reality check, when suddenly the entire
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